emergency can i help you


I have to confess spending my birthday on a training course for work was not exactly what i had in mind and as the dreaded annual ageing event approached nevertheless Emergency Life Support it was to be and i truthfully admit i had no true notion of what this entailed. Two hours later lying flat on my back on the floor, paired up with the only guy on the course i was trying to stifle my giggles as the instructor bellowed across the room at my companion not to be so gallant and ‘watch her chest man, watch her chest’ . Poor guy i expect after a lifetime of being taught not to openly stare at womens bosoms being now openly berated for not doing so was disconcerting to say the least and more than one sheepishly apologetic glances were cast in my direction. i cannot help but find that there is something rather endearing about a man who still has the ability to blush but once the instructor again ordered my now pink cheeked guinea pig to keep watching my chest this was all too much for me and i collapsed into helpless giggles most unbefitting someone who is meant to be having breathing problems of a nature requiring resuscitation. Thankfully things fared a little better when the roles were reversed although my compatriots dramatic touch extended to him holding his breath almost prompting the scenario to take on a more realistic turn. Poor instructor i feel for him greatly, as is often so with a group of women we managed through quips and comments to turn what should have been a most sober occasion into something worthy of a carry on movie and i expect the poor man despaired of ever being in a situation that would ever require one of us to come to his aid although for all intents and purposes we do actually know very well what we are doing and were most competently able to demonstrate this when required. Ending the morning with my lips firmly locked with a silicone dummy really was the icing on the cake as that was far from the birthday kiss i had been imagining and shortly after, tunelessly anihilating a version of heart of glass as i performed cpr on my little plastic friend, i concluded that maybe any victims requiring resuscitation might suddenly make a dramatic recovery if they saw me running to their aid. Bring back Nellie The Elephant thats what i say!! Image 

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