The perils of foot and mouth disease


well yet again another day off has been taken over by training and whilst i appreciate the chance to learn and enhance my skills another part of me cant help but wish that days off actually did mean days OFF. So the episode really didnt bode well when being the only person from my branch to attend this session, first the bus was late and then got stranded behind a broken down lorry at a very busy junction  aarrgghhh MOVE!!! At this point having failed to have the foresightedness as to bring along a contact number im frantically texting my nearest and dearest pleading with them to call and make excuses of impending lateness on my behalf as a very couldn’t care less polish bus driver quite happily drove the bus over a grassy verge narrowly missing a lamp post.Not being remotely catholic it was rather ironic at this point that i remembered every word of the hail mary!! All this would have been plenty for anyone and had i been less of a laid back person i would’ve been rather stressed and deciding fate was trying to tell me something but no barely ruffled i carried on until i discovered to my dismay that the bus actually went nowhere near where i needed to be. Realising some very swift walking was in order ipod was duly switched to running tracks and i actually made it to the trading estate in a very impressive time but then faced with a never ending sea of identical buildings and a maze of roads to follow i realised i had no idea which way to go and then yes the calm did ruffle and after ten minutes of walking in circles becoming increasingly late a desperate phone call to work was in order with me wailing ‘i’m lost’ down the line to an unruffled secretary. Of course eventually i made it, tumbling through the door to a silent room scuttling apologetically across to my chair and giving my very best drama queen scenario of the afore events. So sitting through 3 hours of training only broken by my mouth blurting out CHOCOLATE in response to the question happiness is…..? we managed to reach the end and the tutor did the ritual rounds of the room asking if everyone had found the course informative and helpful. Heads duly nodded and replies of yes, great, very helpful flowed forth until it came to me.Now even as my mouth formed the requisite response of ‘yes very helpful’ brain suddenly takes over and shrieks..BUT its all very well and good but hardly practical is it??’ Okay horrified silence follows and 10 pairs of eyes swivel my way whilst by now my eyes have popped wide open and a mental hand has clamped itself over my mouth and is trying to drag me under the table hissing ‘shut up..SHUT UUUP!!’ Even now i think i could’ve rescued the situation by nodding sagely and mumbling yes yes all very helpful and then staying silent but no!! Mental hand is still over my mouth and brain is mutinously stating NO!! i WILL have my say!! Well by now all hope of sensibility is gone and brain proceeds to bypass common sense and launch into a lecture on ideals in principle versus in practicality. It’s at this point dawning on me that the tutor expected a quick round of ‘very helpful thankyou’s’  before despatching us all off home and clearly wasn’t expecting some mad woman preaching from a very large soapbox in the middle of the room. Even ritual reciting of ‘okay shut up now’ did little to stop my opinionated little diatribe and i actually came to the conclusion that perhaps they would’ve been well advised not to stop at me when doing the rounds. I find when i have strong opinions on something and feel passionately about the cause i tend to state my piece first and worry about the consequences afterwards. Of course i did quieten eventually and wandered off in the direction of Mcdonalds for a rare junk food fix to refuel depleted brain power. And sitting cross legged on the floor by the bus stop i was happily scribbling away on an envelope for my blog when a posh cockney voice floats over my shoulder and says ‘Did you know youre a genius’ Now i guess calling a cockney voice posh is somewhat of a contradiction but this is the best way i can describe it as an elderly gentleman leans down to catch my eye. A genius?? Me?? ahhhhh because im left handed is the explanation. Apparently many of the worlds genii were left handed , a fact that i never knew. Well fancy that!! me..a genius!!

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