call the fire brigade!!

call the fire brigade!!.

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call the fire brigade!!

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Well ive always been very spontaneous and i really hate planning things. Combine this with a periodical restless urge to move furniture and you have my eureka moment for today. Now bearing in mind i only rearranged my bedroom a month prior i had the bright idea that being bored with it already this would be a really good time to change it all around again….Really?? Fast forward to an hour later and my butt is firmly pinned between a wall and a very big wardrobe which is clearly going nowhere and i am happily inventing all manner of new words to very colourfully but without profanity decorate my situation. Of course a sea of clothes and shoes adorning the room did very little to help matters and i think it would surprise you yet how much one woman can accumulate in a 13ft square room. All this despite my many jaunts upstairs to be ‘ruthless’ and clear out my room which usually results in my clinging to a beautiful ball dress wailing ‘but i CANT’ give it away what if the queen invites me to a party!!’  So as colourful waves of belongings roll in every direction i’m frantically wriggling behind said wardrobe growling ‘you WILL move damn you’. and trying not to fall over a small bookcase wedged into my left hip. Of course it didnt move and at this point i had to be inventive and sit on the floor and shove the darned thing with my feet, a very slow and tedious process which became more interesting by the minute the further away i got from the wall. It was at this point i realised i actually was trapped in my room and should mother nature call i would have to resort to hanging my butt out of the window and peeing down the wall, most unladylike and enough of a scenario to make anyone giggle including the neighbours..trust me!! So right about then i would’ve really welcomed a visit from the fire brigade, they do search and rescue right?? well what better opportunity to practise…call the fire brigade!! And if you’ve ever seen a teddy bear laugh, and believe me they do, then oh boy were they laughing right now. I freely admit that a job with a furniture removal company would not be top of the list when they were handing them out to me. Well with much carry on style manoeuvring i eventually managed to rearrange the furniture and was happily singing a lovely duet with Bruno Mars to It Will Rain when a voice pipes up from the next room and informs me the neighbours will think im dying.Well i thought i was doing rather well and at least half of it was in tune!! so then i decided to survey the mess and sat down on the bed only to hear a loud THUNK as i dropped four inches towards the floor. Yes you guessed it i broke the bed!! Well i think right then i called abandon ship, crawled over a mountain of clothes in the doorway and retreated downstairs to the solace of coffee and contemplation of my DIY skills. Maybe a new bed might be in order……………….??

The Comicality of Cats

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Many of you will not know that i have two cats, actually whilst i say i have two infact one of these belongs to my elder daughter. Meekah, grey and white patchwork, slim with a slightly ‘whatever’ expression and my own cat Merlin, black with big yellow eyes larger than meekah and with an air that leads him to seem rather dopey. If one were to imagine a grizzly bear ambling along then you would not be so very far from picturing the countenance of Merlin albeit rather slimmer. This cat is as he seems rather dopey, we have come to the conclusion that in his identity crisis state he imagines himself to be a dog and will come when called, follow to heel and respond to basic commands. This coupled with an almost permanent positioning upon his back with paws in the air leads to the vision of the most canine like cat i have ever seen. Whilst i say he will come when called this is in itself rather comical depending on the tone of voice used since Merlin is often rather naughty and whilst he has learnt what he is and isnt allowed to do within the house he will rather cannily wait until you are distracted and sneak off to wherever he is not supposed to be. So upon calling his name he will freeze and develop a most hangdog air, head down and peering upwards from under undetectable lashes waiting for a command and once being commanded to ‘come here’ almost visibly sighs and plods towards you radiating ‘what have i done now’  which you cannot help but chuckle at. On receiving an ear scratch he will immediately drop to the floor, roll onto his back and lie with paws bent and tail tucked between his back legs waiting for his tummy to be tickled. Merlin seems to love this position and often lies this way but with head tipped back watching you upside down, totally unblinking and unmoving until eventually you feel the need to prod him and make sure he is still with us. But the most comical of all is the ‘playing dead’. Now as i said Merlin knows very well what he is and isnt allowed to do but rebel that he is persists in breaking the rules and upon discovery once picked up he will immediately ‘play dead’.  Suddenly you find you have a cat curled into a C shape totally dead weight in your hands and he will hang there unmoving until you place him upon the floor upon which he will flatten himself to the ground and slink at speed to somewhere he knows he should be, peering guiltily at you waiting for reprimand.  Yet this does little to prevent him from trying again the minute you are not paying attention to his whereabouts for he is nothing if not very persistent. And so at present we are settled into Merlin’s favourite position he and i writing a blog, for Merlin loves nothing better than to creep under my arm, head and front paws on my thigh and bottom tucked around my side to sit and play upon the laptop. It is actually not an easy task trying to type with a cat tucked under your arm and also most distracting watching a black head bobbing from side to side watching the screen. Yet here we sit Merlin and i blogging away to the world and maybe i am just biased as i detect a nod of approval from my furry companion at the content of my blog for today.