Big yahoo for after weeks of waiting my new sofa is finally here!! Of course i wasnt quite so thrilled when at 6.20am i received a phonecall from a chirpy sounding delivery driver announcing they would be arriving within the next half an hour. Bearing in mind at this point i was uncharacteristically still abed i found i was suddenly very much awake and shot out of bed to scramble into some clothes being very reluctant to appear on my front doorstep in pyjamas looking like a rumpled panda. We’ve all heard the phrase less haste more speed and i think this would’ve been something i would’ve done well to heed right then as,hopping up and down on one leg, i tried to shove the other hastily into a pair of jeans. And me being me i stumbled over a stray cushion and sat heavily upon one of my beloved charlie bears.
At this point i refuse to take responsibility for any recordings registering on any seismometers in the local vicinity for i really can have very little claim to any semblance of daintiness!! I’m not sure which was worse by then, the fact i had sat on my beloved bear (yes sad i know at my age but i love them) or the fact that i actually got up, checked he was okay and apologised to him. I guess all in all i now have all the appearance of a crazy old bear lady living alone in a scary old house with nothing but spooky looking bears for company but i assure you im actually very normal, well depending on what you definition of normal is i suppose!
So finally bear rescued, jeans donned i hustled down the stairs trying to put on a shirt as i went, peered in the mirror before shrieking and reaching for a hairbrush. Were there ever to be a love child of a hedgehog and a panda you can be most assured that it would look like me and if i ever am guilty of envy it is of those women so perfect that they tumble out of bed looking better than i do when all dressed up to go out.
And this was as far as i got for it seems delivery drivers have no sense of time and a huge lorry was merrily beeping its way onto my driveway and i am trying to frantically shoo two yowling cats away from my ankles in order to clear a pathway into my lounge for beautiful new sofa. It seemed the cats did not particularly care whether nice shiny new sofa was here or not they just wanted food and were most indignant at being denied and became quite persistent. So as two burly men weaved their way across my garden towards the house my cleanliness radar honed in on the one lone deposit of feline excrement on the whole garden and i actually closed my eyes briefly cringing and saying mentally ‘please dont stand in that oh no please dont’ Huge sign of relief and admiration for delivery men who do not walk in straight lines therefore avoiding the possibility of rather undesirable free gifts left upon my carpets.
So now nice shiny sofa is sitting in my living room looking stylish and sophisticated but i have to confess that there is something about a nice new sofa that makes you want to be a child again and go and jump up and down upon it. Thankfully i did resist for whilst the desire might be childlike i alas am not and i am fairly sure having a fully grown woman leaping madly upon it would really not do it very much good at all so i shall just refrain and resort myself to grinning gleefully and giving it small pats as i pass.