The tales that grown-ups tell


When i was young i believed everything grown ups told me, well you do when you’re a child dont you? Thinking back it made me chuckle at some of the things they would tell us just to get us to do as they wanted and i just had to write them down. These are some of mine, how many can you remember?

 

WHEN THE ICE CREAM VAN PLAYS MUSIC IT MEANS THEYRE SOLD OUT

Oh yes i believed this one until one day i saw the ice cream van roll up merrily playing music and the kids from over the road all ran out to buy some. Of course i never told anyone when i was young because you can bet for sure they’d all have laughed but you have to admit its a pretty effective way of getting out of buying lots of expensive ice cream cones!!

IF YOU SWALLOW AN APPLE PIP YOU’LL GROW A TREE IN YOUR TUMMY

Yes you guessed it i believed this one too! I remember once accidentally swallowing a pip and being terrified i was going to turn into a tree. I was way too scared to tell my parents, i thought they would yell at me and then dump me in a forest until i grew there. Okay so i admit i was rather small and i did have a very active imagination but even now i look back and chuckle.I saw an advert on tv a few years back and one of the catchphrases was…i want to be a tree and it made me laugh because it reminded me so much of apple pips.

EATING SUGAR WILL GIVE YOU WORMS

I will never know where this one came from, maybe it was some 70s idea of getting kids not to eat too much sugar. When i was small i had a terrible habit of wetting my finger, dipping it in the sugar pot and eating it or sneaking sugar cubes from my grandparents sugar bowl and hiding under the table to eat them. Sugar sandwiches, the staple diet of every 70s child and we loved them although the idea of them now makes me cringe. But then suddenly granny starts telling us that eating sugar gives you worms! I have never dropped a sugar cube so fast in my life yet at the same time gruesomely fascinated with the horrible thought of having a tummy full of wriggly little monsters.Effective though right?

SMELLING DANDELIONS MAKES YOU WET THE BED

Another one from granny! Like most kids i used to love and sit on my grandparents lawn and make daisy chains and one time when i was feeling particularly lazy i decided that if i made them from dandelions it would take half the time.Logical right? noooooo granny snatched them out of my hand and told me dandelions make you wee the bed. I’ve never scrubbed my hands so much in my life and spent the whole night too scared to sleep incase i wet the bed!!

IF THE WIND CHANGES WHEN YOU PULL A FACE YOU’LL STAY LIKE IT

Another one from mum this time. Admittedly on every car journey my brothers and sisters and i would be kicking each others ankles and jabbing our elbows into each others ribs complaining loudly that ”HE’s taking up too much ROOM” eventually this would drive my mom crazy and she would tell someone off and then the face pulling behind the seats would commence. Always brought to a head by a sharp warning from mother that if the wind changed we would stay like it and we were never entirely convinced that it wasnt true so the face pulling never did last long.

IF YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH YOU WONT GET INTO TROUBLE

Really? oh okay then it was me!! HMMMM yes i fell for this one too. Okay as a grown up i hate lies and firmly believe in telling the truth except in extreme circumstances but as kids, well we lie right? So mom and dad come up with the above line to persuade little johnny and betty to tell the truth. It works at first because a child will clutch at any lifeline to get out of trouble but kids are pretty savvy and this one really doesnt last long. Not going to get into trouble? okay mom pull this one now!

I remember these little tales my elders told me and i’m sure there are many more i’ve forgotten. How many do you have??

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Max
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 08:10:21

    When I was about seven I used to play with my private bits and my dad told me if I kept doing that it would fall off!

    Reply

    • smilesalot1969
      Jul 10, 2012 @ 08:14:50

      hehe i guess that would have to be a boy thing!! I actually remember someone telling my brother the same thing when he was about 4

      Reply

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