The art of being subtle

Well another day over at the gym and to say i am pretty annoyed is putting it mildly. My usual workout is between 2-21/2 hours but today i was lucky if i did 80minutes. Yup i feel lazy and oh boy do i feel like i’ve cut half of my weights out which actually yes i have. 

And why??

Well it is simple, i got so annoyed with my latest admirer and his blatant staring that i grabbed my stuff and left. I know what you are all thinking it’s flattering to be eyed up but i really do not feel comfortable with such open appraisal and really wish they would be more subtle about it.If you’re looking at me and i’m not looking back then please just take a hint. A lot of the gym where i go seems to be guys since most of the women stick to the fitness classes and not so frequently weight train as i do. So far i have 3 guys who seem to check me out a lot and sure, i’m a girl, it was a tad flattering at first but trust me it rapidly gets annoying especially since i am very honest that i am taken and am not the remotest bit interested in any of them.

I guess the problem is i go to the gym to work and i mean WORK. I have my ipod and i zone out and really kick up the weights and cardio and to be honest i really do not want someone yakking in my ear while i am doing so. I need to concentrate! If i drop my weight and injure myself because you’re distracting me lets just say i’d be awfully angry. I have to say most of the guys at the gym are pretty great, they’ll chat after workouts but like me they dont want to be bothered while theyre working out so other than a quick smile and hello we dont interact. But for all that there are those who seem to treat it as some kind of pick up joint and spend half their energy looking around.

So the three guys in question??

Number one is pretty okay, he’s kinda subtle and had he not hunted me down online and sent me a very flirty message saying i had a fantastic body i should never really have noticed him looking. I have to admit he has gotten slightly more obvious since then but was fine when i told him i have a partner. He doesn’t invade my space while im training and chats only when he can see i’m not busy which i really am okay with. I dont mind this guy so much at all and am happy to be friends with him.

Number two, lets call him council guy. He has for a very very long time been staring at me since i frequently bump into him in town and he is quite blatant about it. He will stare and put himself in my eyeline catching my eye until i am forced to acknowledge him and say hello. I do not like being forced to say hello to people, i am far from antisocial but i like to choose who i wish to speak to but this guy does not care. At the gym he is very blatant and not content with a hello on first meeting he has to have me acknowledge and say hello to him EVERY time we pass. This guy engineers bumping into me so much (trust me nobody can really need THAT much water from the cooler) that dear daughter commented yesterday that this guy seems to be obsessed with me. She remarked quite loudly that surely one hello was enough then loudly announced that he was staring at my bottom. 

Number three. Now this guy is new having only latched onto me this week and now suddenly his every workout coincides with mine whereas before they did not. Another one who is very blatant about catching my eye the minute i enter the gym and there is no getting past him until i have. This guy has taken to intercepting me on the treadmill and will stand straight infront of it and start talking until out of politeness i am forced to remove my headphones and answer him. Anyone else would get the idea that someone going at a very fast incline pace with headphones on is not likely to be disposed to chatting but this guy does not care.Good manners force me to answer him and despite very terse short responses from me he was not to be deterred, even commenting at one point that his making me chat was leaving me very out of breath. When i replied that yes indeed it was he laughed and carried on. I’m sorry but HELLO???

So today it was guy number three that forced me to leave, having caught my eye the minute he walked in just by his overt here i am body gestures. I replied a quick hello and turned up my music and put my head down and carried on and he made several attempts to catch my eye and get me talking. Shortly after my spidey sense prickled that someone was behind me and a swift glance revealed this guy standing right behind my treadmill doing stretches whilst staring at my behind. Most infuriating was that he did not even have the decency to look away and stayed there despite my turning round twice more. This guy then positions himself on a rowing machine right next to me leaving his head at my crotch level and within touching distance despite the fact there was another further away. At this point i decided to get off the treadmill and head for the weights but again spidey sense prickled that i was being watched and indeed this was the case. Self consciously i put my head further and further down but it made no difference.

Well to be honest that was enough for me and i grabbed my kit and left and have decided that in future i shall be going to the gym rather earlier where i can hopefully workout in peace. Yes it is flattering when people think you are attractive and i daresay i would be very disgruntled if nobody ever looked my way but there is such a thing as being subtle. Whilst i am very receptive to such appreciative looks from my partner i am definitely not so from total strangers and such obvious staring makes me feel decidedly uncomfortable. Perhaps the fault is mine and i should learn to be more flattered but i cannot help but prefer rather a lot more subtlety in an appreciative glance. Perhaps there is something to be said for being fat after all for being called fatty is rather easier to handle.

8 thoughts on “The art of being subtle

  1. My mom was always overweight – by a lot, and one of the reasons she said was that she felt safer. There is something to be said for not being TOO attractive. Hope it works out for you at the gym.

    1. nobody really looks at you when youre bigger lol well nobody ever looked at me. Dont get me wrong appreciative glances are flattering its the pushy really in your face ogling i hate, it makes me squirm

      1. It’s just a shame that you have to leave because someone is in your face. That is harassment. I’ve never had to deal with that, and it sounds like yours is ongoing. Does your partner like to exercise? My husband and I used to go together, or I went with a friend.

      2. i just switched my times and went earlier today it was so nice to just be able to workout in peace and go home!! My partner lives about 90 miles away so its not really an option but he would if he could. I guess its not a crime to be attracted to someone but it kinda helps if its a two way thing and these guys just dont get it that im not interested. Or maybe they do get it but think i’ll change my mind….i have no idea. Men baffle me at the best of times!!

      3. I agree, and when you are a friendly person as well as cute, it is hard to be rude to guys that really deserve rudeness. When my first husband died, I was your age, and I had men “drop by” my house. That creeped me out, and I had no idea how to deal. I found someone I liked and got married within 7 months after he died, and the problem went away, but I never got really good at it! I didn’t have kids, but I took in a teen aged girl who was troubled, and she was actually a bigger help to me, I think than I was to her. I think she would have beaten up anyone that gave me any real problems, and she could have done it!!!

      4. oh she sounds just like my eldest daughter!! Dear daughter doesnt care what she says or who hears it and she will quite happily embarrass any of these guys by announcing loudly to the whole gym that they are staring at me. Me im too nice i just put my head down and cringe and pray they go away :/ problem is Dear daughter hates the gym and doesn’t want to go any more *sigh*

      5. There you go. I had never gone to a gym before I had Teresa with me. AND I don’t think I’ve ever gone alone. My husband and I invested in gym equipment after we got married, and so I use that. The only times now that I ever GO to a gym is if I’m training for something special, and I have a trainer. It’s a dilemma because the gym helps you keep looking great, and it’s a pain if you look great!!!

  2. oh i have a garage full of gym equipment but i always have a gazillion reasons not to use it. Its only if i make myself leave the house and go and do it that i’ll work hard. I’m not willing to give up on my dream of my idea body so i guess i’m going to have to either start being very rude which isn’t in my nature or put up with it. Part of me cant wait till i’m 70 when i can say of stuff it and eat chocolate all day. Nobody looks at you when youre 70 right 😀

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