The Year of the Panda


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So its new years and apparently time for positive resolutions. Well im not a new year fan and dont make resolutions but these are the things i AM positive about…
1) I was a fat cow last year and yup im still a fat cow just with more chocolate. Thankfully this will always keep me safe…fat people are so much harder to kidnap.
2) I’m going to spend the whole year trying NOT to be a fat cow whilst resisting the urge to chew off my own leg.
3) I may get halfway skinny….for a while anyway. I will blame my failure on a mid life system error.
4) I will hate people. I hated them last year and yup still will not be feeling the love. Really people are just SO annoying.
5) If i love or like you then you’re privileged…i don’t like many people.
6) I will constantly be in a rush. To work..home from work and whilst i’m at work. This wont change. Multitasking is the centre of my universe.
7) I will spend every payday hugging my bank card for a whole hour before it all bleeds out of my account at a terminal rate. There is no cure…it cannot be saved. Funds are being set aside for its eventual funeral.
8) i will still get annoyed at the cat..even when the cat has done nothing wrong. It’s always the cats fault. Even the cat agrees with this.
9) i will spend the whole year doing DIY convinced that one day i’ll be happy my house is ‘finished’ . This will never happen. I am a residential magpie.
10) i will love being ME… grumps, grouches, mad moments, soft heart and strange sense of humour me. I will be my very own version of Alice and i will live in a very odd world of my own. I will never change not for anyone. 🐼😘

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