There is a theory i found whilst browsing our online world that we re-invent ourselves in cycles of every 7 years. Perhaps this is mostly an unconscious change but i think most will agree that they are not the same person they were prior to today. I mulled on this for some time for i can well remember the person i was that number of years ago but then the question came to me was i actually myself back then or indeed in prior years?
The answer after some thought was actually a resounding NO. Not entirely, although with the exception of this present point in time it was the period in my life when i was closest to actually being myself. Of course barring for the unlikely explanation of alien abduction or body snatching it would seem logical to assume that of course i was me.
Who else was i likely to be?
Well i guess on further examination the truth is you are only the product of what other people and yourself allow you to be. Consciously or not we change and adapt ourselves to suit those around us sometimes so much so that we lose sight of who we really are. One thing i find most amusing is the meeting of two people, initially attracted by the other person they set about forming a relationship as is natural. Curiously then they seek to set about changing that person into some pre-conceived ideal that they have but in essence destroying all that appealed to them about the other in the first place.
This, for me personally, is something i cannot abhor having been victim to it on many occasions and thus i am a firm believer in not trying to change someone to suit yourself. After all you liked them in the first place and everything that they were drew you to them so why set about trying to fix that which is already right? Yet in honesty this is where i failed so dismally on the 7 year change for looking back i could not fail to admit that in all previous cycles i was more often the product of what other people had wanted me to be or forced me to be rather than being myself. Whether by manipulation or pure design i was actually guilty of being less my own person and more some other whom for the most part i did not recognise.
Some cycles this was more evident and in hindsight i cringe when i think of the person i was and admonish myself for being so susceptible to domination and manipulation and yet i was.Such a contradiction considering the strong minded person i really am and i wonder whether this says more about me or those in my life at the time. Reasonably and logically i know that this was more to do with external forces than anything within myself for if i am honest i was always there but buried away where nobody could see. Only when in the company of the right person do you finally get to be only that which you really are.
How sad then that so very few would be able to step forward when i am departed from this world and say ”yes i knew her”. Oh yes many may think it to be so and i know those who would like to be able to make that claim but in truth those who actually did or do are only two in number at this point in time. Whilst this may seem to many be a pitiful number i find that it pleases me greatly. A woman of mystery and intrigue perhaps? No not really, i find instead that it is just a little more special when you do meet those persons with whom you can be everything that you are, without restraint. And if then you are told that those persons like you just the way you are it is all worth it and you know those are the right ones for you.
Who will i be in another 7 years?? Actually this is where i hope the 7 year change ends for i like this person that i am now. I find i like her very well. She has taken so very long to break free that i would be loathe to part with her again and i for one hope she sticks around for a little while longer.