Ain’t no mountain high enough

quote-Anil-Kapoor-there-are-hurdles-there-are-handicaps-hardships-21496

Pick up any newspaper, turn on the television news and you cannot fail to see the constant doom and gloom predictions of the current economic climate. As we read daily of hardships and hurdles, of food banks and homelessness you cannot help but see the downturn of life in general for so many. There is surprisingly an odd detachment in society  however, with the true realities of a life of hardship being a most alien concept to those more fortunate and favoured. Perhaps it is true that unless you have had to live a reality then why should it even exist for you and this definitely seems to be the case today. Not for the first time i have witnessed people shocked by the genuine realities of life for the less privileged and the admittance of a total unawareness of such existence. Media it seems has much to answer for in its portrayal of modern human lives.

Personally i cannot deny that things have been somewhat of a downward spiral in some elements of my life and, control freak that i am , i find being hemmed into very tight corners a most unpalatable situation indeed. I have likened the situation very much to running a hurdle race and finding that some imp of fate is gleefully adding extra hurdles only in my lane, leaving me running far behind my fellow competitors. 

I have in the past often imagined my life as like that of a rat in a maze, constantly searching for that one door exit whilst fate peers interestedly at my struggles to succeed. I guess here though is where my quirky sense of humour kicks in and i send up thanks that i am not growing an extra ear upon my back. Yes the life of a lab rat would definitely not be one of my choosing and i am more than a little thankful that i am not so far down the species ladder as to genuinely be of the rodent variety.

Despite normally being of such a positive nature it is very difficult after some time not to allow those glimmers of disillusionment and negativity to creep in. It is easy then to self doubt and wonder perhaps if it is not society at all but yourself that is lacking and failing on an epic scale. Looking in the mirror you cease to smile and focus instead on those imaginary flaws and inflate them to fantastical proportions until they dominate your life. I have to my shame done this and i freely admit it. 

”Stupid ugly cow” i have hissed at myself in the mirror. 

I have never been the type of person to outwardly direct my frustrations and self doubt, instead choosing to direct it inwardly at the person i consider to blame. 

Myself.

Perhaps this is more than a little unfair as most of my obstacles have come as the result of outside influences that i genuinely had litte control over and whilst hindsight is a wonderful thing it would have been very hard to erase any of them as each sprang out of an at the time necessity.  Frustrating in the present though when any present efforts are hampered by the chains of the past. But the whole point of running a race is to get to the finish line and often those most remembered are not the ones who came first in blazing glory but those who fell and yet got back up and finished despite coming far behind everyone else. 

So as another monday rolls around i feel a little lightened and ashamed of myself for my negativity thanks to the words of a friend.

The strongest wood, is from trees that withstand the strongest winds, And steel, has to  go into the hottest fire/furnace to become the strongest steel. And of course a piece of coal, has to undergo the most tremendous pressures, to become a diamond

I am running my own race, i realise this and must keep on running no matter the hurdles. I may not come first but i will never fail as long as i just keep on running. The same friend pointed out to me the following quote and i realised he was right, i knew it all along i just let negativity blinker my goal. 

Behind every fear, is a person, you want to be. You face your fears, you become the person you want to be. You run from your fears, you’re not living

So following a friendly mental slap, armed with new motivation and the offer of help from that friend i am willing to walk out onto the ledge and take a small leap of faith. Not in him but finally in myself.  Perhaps after all it is not for me to judge my own strengths and weakness but someone more impartial and less biased in any direction as i am in myself. I am willing to try at least for i shall never reach my goal if i keep on standing still. Someday you may know my name, someday you may not but whatever the result i shall know i gave it all i had. Obstacles are there for a reason, to climb over but often the biggest obstacle of all is infact yourself.

It is possible, so i have been told, to climb a Panda.

Anything is possible if you only try. 

Advertisements

Facebook, Jeremy Kyle and a whole lot of laundry

Rare for me, since Saturday mornings usually find me wearing myself out in my local gym, i spent today watching morning television whilst cruising the internet. Like many I have a Facebook account although unlike most I do not really bother with it overly. I find i much prefer the less personal realms of the Twitter world. I tend to be a pretty private person and I am not so awed at the thought of millions of people knowing all of the inner workings of my life. Yes clearly I blog, but blogging is less invasive and I am very careful about those things I choose to reveal to my readers. 

Whilst I am very happy in my relationship and love my boyfriend dearly, I  for one do not wish to publicise the inner workings of my life with him for the whole world to see. Although I am not above displaying for the Facebook world some uncontained burst of happiness for the most part I tend to keep my private life to myself. Not so my friends and acquaintances it seems for, as i scrolled my news feed with one eye on a heated debate on TV’s Jeremy Kyle show, I was a little surprised at some of the statuses.

One side of a couples argument. For everyone’s amusement the woman is visibly making vicious comments about her partner. Friend’s jumping onto the one sided bandwagon adding to the general nastiness with little or no idea of the facts or whether any of it was at all true. Another ‘friend’ publishing intimate medical information about herself regardless of the fact that the whole world can see and comment upon this yet they do not seem to care.

Scrolling further down i see more personal information, a phone number and yet another status spewing spite towards some faceless unnamed individual. Again this person has had the foresightedness not to reply and draw themselves further into the deluge of venom directed their way. Such things amaze me for I have always been taught and am a big believer in the saying

‘If you cannot say anything nice then do not say anything at all’

As the TV continues to drone in the background my attention shifts again to the now furiously arguing couple upon the screen and i cannot help but wonder..WHY?? Are we as a species so desperate for our five minutes of fame that we would resort to airing our dirty laundry in public and ultimately setting ourselves up for ridicule as a result of this? Do those people on screen or even on Facebook stop for one moment to consider just how they appear to other people? Perhaps they simply do not care and again i find this difficult to comprehend. 

It seems with the advent of more and more advanced technology, there are many of us content to be drawn into the fantasy of the online world. In our attempts to be modern and popular we are content to broadcast those facts about ourselves that would have seemed so scandalous when whispered behind twitching curtains decades before. Perhaps  things have changed and what was once so socially unacceptable is now simply considered the norm in today’s society. There is little doubt that, given the presence of many such shows as that of Jeremy Kyle, we are much more voyeuristic in nature than we once were. We watch avidly as the dysfunctional and the desperate bear all to a viewing public of millions and in many cases pass judgement where, in their place, we should not like to receive it. 

So sad a world when the misfortunes and distress of other people are considered a form of entertainment for others and for the most part i refuse to watch. I cannot feel anything but sadness and sympathy for those poor souls drawn to solve their problems in such a way. Me? I think I shall continue to keep my private life to myself, even my friends and family are not privy to events within my relationship with my boyfriend and perhaps as a woman I am unusual in this. It seems the norm to share with friends those occurrences, arguments and happy times within your intimate relationship but for myself I prefer to keep those things between he and 

Dirty laundry? Personally I think i shall forgo my five minutes of fame and keep mine firmly in my laundry basket!! 

VW525EFYWZWD

A Reason To Be Missed

Last night fighting sleep i was doing my usual channel hopping on the tv. I get this way quite often being really to tired to watch anything in particular but reluctant to actually turn it off but this time a programme caught my eye and i found myself watching avidly.

Truth be told it was actually a rather sad and upsetting programme and ordinarily i would have switched channels and avoided it but i found the people within it really captured me and kept me there long after i would have left and opted for sleep. The programme itself was about people who die alone and who are never discovered for quite some time and i watched in shocked disbelief as the varying tales unfolded. A 58 year old man was discovered last year after lying dead in his flat for two years, forgotten and unmissed by anyone. I’m a soft hearted soul anyway but this upset me greatly, how sad that this gentleman had been in a position where he had passed on and yet nobody noticed. How? 

Where were his friends?? Where were his family??

It seems he had neither, being rather reclusive in nature and this in itself is the saddest thing of all. I am sure i am far from alone in hoping that when my time comes i will leave behind people who will miss me,notice that i am gone and that i have in some way touched at least one person in such a way as to cause them to mourn my loss. I should feel i had lived my life very badly indeed if this were not the case. 

Worse still the story of an elderly lady who had lain dead in her flat for 5 years before anyone discovered her. 5 years!!! Who was this poor lady and why was she so alone? What on earth had caused her to come to such a tragic end? It seems nobody knew, neither the lady herself or anything about her. How horrific that a person can just vanish from the face of the earth and be unnoticed by a single living soul. How lonely an existence this must have been and my heart went firmly out to her yet i cannot imagine what it must be like to be so lonely and so forgotten. Perhaps though it is easier than we think to end up this way and she herself had never envisaged such an end to her life.

Still the tales came, some left for days, others for much longer periods of time and it seems it is far from a rare occurrence. So many people, all forgotten. One would imagine that this was limited to the poor and the elderly yet this was not so. People of all ages, sexes and both rich and poor all with the same tragic ending. I wonder if the blame lies with society itself for the less than community spirit that exists in this modern day world of ours or if ultimately the people themselves were at fault, dooming themselves in their very rejection of fellow human beings. This we shall never know but it definitely gives cause for thought and has altered my thinking rather a lot. My jest has always been that i should end my days being a crazy cat lady in a remote cottage in Wales but suddenly this does not seem such an ideal to aspire to. Perhaps a more fitting end of days should be my choice for i do not wish to be yet another statistic on the forgotten people list.

Time to be thankful then and hold on to those people who will notice if i am no longer here and work upon leaving behind me a reason to be missed. 

Top Clicks

  • None

Top Rated

Follow xpanda1969x on WordPress.com

Twitter Updates

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,278 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 37,243 hits
The KiltLander's Blog

JP's Outlander Recaps and other perspectives from the Dirk Side

Dionne Lister - Author

I love sharing my stories but I wish they wouldn't keep me awake at night

Great Scot!

Cultural Musings of An Outlandish Nature

clotildajamcracker

The wacky stories of a crazy lady.

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

Soul Love 11:11

Love That Transcends All Understanding

InfinitelyRemote Blog

Gateway to BlogDogIt.com

There By Candlelight Press

How many miles to Babylon? Three score and ten. Can I get there by candlelight? Yes, and back again.

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

PICZLoad pics a la carte

Watchout Loud and Have PICBliss!

Under Construction

Something is coming soon.

Jane Austen's World

This Jane Austen blog brings Jane Austen, her novels, and the Regency Period alive through food, dress, social customs, and other 19th C. historical details related to this topic.

eyE[before]E

in the land of the m[EyE]nd the one E'd man is kEEn

Perking the Pansies

Jack Scott's random ramblings

%d bloggers like this: