A tale of two kitties… or maybe just a few more

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Love them or hate them you can barely go a step down the street without running into a furry feline of some form or other. I am definitely a cat person and am the frazzled owner of a barking mad part bengal tabby. Tally thinks she owns me and thinks nothing of creating havoc in order to have me chasing around after her.

So when some weeks earlier my boyfriend announced that a feral cat had given birth outside his parents house i immediately went into full-blown gush mode. Definitely a very smart mama cat, she had wedged herself and her furry brood in a very small space between the two houses, far out of reach of human hands. Peering excitedly into the gloom a couple of weeks later i could just about make out a furry bundle of shapes at the very far end. Strangely mama cat did not seem one bit fazed by us cooing over her offspring and merely flicked a tail in our direction and sauntered off in search of food.

But one day mama cat did not come back and the hours rolled into one day and then two. The poor kittens far from being safely hidden at the back of the small alley were cuddled up at the front awaiting their missing parent and the promise of food.

But mama never came.

As two days rolled into three and boyfriend was keeping a strict vigil it became clear that something had to be done. It was clear that mama cat had either abandoned her tiny offspring or something untoward had befallen her.  It seemed there was no other option than to mount a rescue and since very concerned boyfriend was the only one on hand, the task fell to him. Now i can only tell you the events as related to me but as you can imagine all did not go according to plan. Whilst three were very swiftly whisked away before they could even realise what was going on, the other two made a very wobbly run for it further back into the enclosed gap. Definitely not wide enough for human occupation, it meant that our hero had to be inventive in his attempts to shoo the elusive felines out of hiding. Since the gap was too small and too high to reach into or enter  it meant a long length of wood had to be fashioned from smaller pieces in order to lean down and shoo them along with it. Now even today i cannot help but giggle at the thought of dear boyfriend balancing on high smacking a kitty up the bottom with a plank of wood. It did prove effective however and two little bundles of hissing fur were dispatched into the box with their siblings.

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So what exactly do you do with 5 feral kittens who havent eaten for days? Feed them first of all..one by one with syringe and cat milk and bless him he did a good job. The little tortoiseshell was definitely not impressed and hissed madly whenever approached but after deciding exploring was more fun set off on an adventure. Thankfully after several calls a veterinary surgery was willing to take them and raise them so back into the box it was, bumping and fighting all of the way to their temporary new home. I have to admit they are adorable and i got to visit them myself some days later. Very much changed and much more sociable than before they happily came close for attention as we approached. Houdini, as i have christened the tortoiseshell, was very much an escape artist and made a bid for freedom at every opportunity. Scampering around the surgery with boyfriend in tow he alternated and in return followed at my other half’s heels like a nosy puppy. As i sat and watched they jumped and tumbled, pouncing merrily upon each other as they played.

All but one.

Sitting right at the back one tiny black kitten made no attempt to join in. Staring with wide blue eyes he appealed to me greatly for where the others made every attempt to gain your attention, this one did not. Simply sitting quietly observing whilst the others vied for attention this one did not even try. This would be the one for me were i to take one home. Timid and overlooked yet to me the one that stood out the most.

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So that dear readers is how you save a life and proof that just sometimes, just sometimes, a hero does come along when you need one. Five little kittens are going to have a better life than the one they would have had before and i shall remember a quiet pair of blue eyes looking up into mine.

PURRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Keeping hold of a ninja panda

Every good superhero has their alter ego and in this i am no exception. I have christened her Ninja Panda for trust me this is what she believes she is. Blame squarely on her shoulders for hauling me from my lovely warm bed and happy little dream world, forcing me to haul ass on the treadmill for what seems like an eternity yet no sign of relenting from her. I cannot help but envy her get up and go for who else would have the energy to dance upon a treadmill at the end of a 10k power walk? Well she would of course!!

Ninja panda has a mission, not content to let my once cuddly form find gleeful solace in some disgustingly sinful gastronomy she steals away my comforts in the night. Whilst i clutch hopefully at a stray donut and practise breathing in a little harder she skips around in gym clothes poring over skinny jeans in an online store.Skinny jeans really?? We don’t do skinny jeans!!

Really aiming high this Ninja Panda and boy do i suffer for it, were she and i not so close i think i could really hate her at times although a twinge of envy creeps in as she twirls in a pretty dress i never could wear. But she lands me in trouble every time and today yet again she has done just that. Okay i suffered her gym torture, 10k!! why do we need to walk that far, is there a Starbucks at the end of it?? Apparently not, yet as usual she makes me walk top speed every step of the way laughing as every muscle shrieks and i dehydrate faster than a fish in a desert. A most evil Ninja Panda indeed.

Not content with forcing me to a life of hard labour she now wants us to run, oh yes you heard right. Now something seems to have escaped her notice for pandas do not run, they are by nature quite lazy and like to sit and eat. Yes you heard me i said they like to sit and EAT!! No running, no exercise just blissful decadent eating in comfort as a true panda should. My alter ego and i?? No we’re going running, apparently. Not content with making my ample bottom move faster than it is used to oh evil one wishes me to do this in public, for 10k!! This made me chuckle for i am not sure quite how long they pay these people to hang around and wait for the stragglers to roll in, for straggler i definitely shall be whether madam ninja likes it or no. 

So as the tender ministrations of Herr Ninja sign me up to running lessons with the female trainer at the gym my face drains of all colour as one time military fitness instructor pipes up that he will train the ninja and i when his counterpart is not available. I’ve been good honest mom!!!  Now i know im not in Kansas any more but never did i dream that OZ would look like this. Time to get jogging down that yellow brick road then with Ninja Panda at my heels pushing me all the way.

Superheroes seem so glamorous dont they? Wouldn’t we all like to have an alter ego to turn us into the heroes of our dreams and to make us all the things we can never be in our less than remarkable lives. 

Yeah thats what i thought too!! Anyone want a Ninja??

Men are from Mars

Men baffle me.

It really is that simple. Ironically then that most of my friends are male and although my relationships have tended to be of the few but long term variety i can still safely say that even still i do not understand them at all. Perhaps the writer of the above title was correct in their analysis that women and men are from entirely different planets and personally i could well believe this. 

Whilst i can only limit my observations to those men of both past and present acquaintances i can safely say that for the most part my encounters have led me to believe that men very often do not say what they mean and more importantly do not mean what they say. Certainly my experience has been that mostly men infact tend to say very little at all  leaving those poor literal folk like myself having to guess and write the script for ourselves, often very inaccurately indeed. Imagine the hapless mess of trying to write the script when you do not infact know the story!

Admittedly, for one so perceptive i am very aware that i can be very totally oblivious to those subtle signs that i am told i am meant to pick up on. That is not to say that i NEVER see them but often those times that i do will be those occasions when i most want things to be so.This then is when i tend to ignore them assuming my own desire to see such has made me imagine them entirely. Ironically blind in more than just eyesight i expect. The bigger irony is i was always led to believe that men were the more practical creatures of the two and certainly the more literal and less cryptic. Strangely this has not been my experience at all and i find the case is more that i am the more literal and blunt, leaving them in the reversed role of more cryptic and less obvious.

Perhaps this is where such extensive reading is not such a positive thing since, for the most part in any book, the male role is often portrayed as dominant, demonstrative and often even a little forceful. Never so much so as to be unappealing but rather just that soupcon as to make him appear dashing and manly. Never then is the female counterpart left in any doubt as to his thoughts and desires since he is most willing and often eager to enlighten her. Somewhat different in these modern times then when men seem so much less articulate, instead being rather more of the reticent variety and even of the downright dishonest. 

For my own part perhaps i am guilty of taking away the mystery of any given situation but i find i never would have made a particularly good Miss Marple, i just do not see the clues you see. I can well believe that there is also a flip side to this and the world over there are men abound saying exactly the same about women, they just do not understand them. Perhaps ultimately the trick is to communicate more and not to leave to chance being understood by the other person. I learned long ago that sometimes you just have to come out and say what you wish to and risk an undesired response rather than say nothing at all and forever be wondering.

What if. 

Yes men most definitely are from Mars and perhaps it is time i began to learn a little Martian.

Why do birds run??

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Today the sun smiled at me through my window and it beckoned me to come outside. I protested at first that i had work to do but it smiled again and said come out to play. So i did, i am nothing if not obliging and who was i to refuse such a request especially since it had rained and rained for so long i was thinking of changing my name to Noah. So i skipped off outside and caught a train to the next town and spent the next few hours nosing around shops and stopping for lunch ( subway of course!!) which is rare for me because i usually hate shopping and do most of it online. Yes you heard right i’m a girl and i hate shopping!! I’m okay for an hour or so and then i get bored and go plonk myself down in the park with my kindle. 

Some time later idly sitting at the bus stop i was absorbed in watching a little bird running around in the road, rather worriedly for this is a busy bus route and i didn’t want the little guy to get run over. Actually to be honest i was only half watching him, the other half of me being absorbed in trying to eat an orange juice lolly without it melting all over my lovely white shirt. As i sat and pondered the little bird a bus came thundering by and i squeaked in alarm convinced the little bird had met his fate between the huge wheels but no, here he came scuttling along from between the back wheels and resuming his wandering in the road. I have absolutely no idea why he was running around in circles, perhaps hoping for stray crumbs to be dropped from one of the nearby passengers waiting at the various shelters but he was definitely determined to remain where he was. 

Several times a bus or car thundered by and each time this little guy came dancing along between the wheels and by now he had most definitely earned my admiration for whether it be bravery or just sheer stupidity this tiny little bird ( a wagtail) had no intention of giving ground and retreating. I watched him curiously for quite some time this little winged daredevil and i mused on why he risked running around between the wheels on such tiny little legs when he could so easily fly out of reach and then return. Clearly he knew something i did not for he continued doggedly dashing back and forth. Sadly i had to leave him behind but i hope he got his reward for he truly deserved it but with such a beautiful pair of wings i guess i’ll never understand, why do birds run??

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