My life without me

Today i was shocked and saddened by the news that an ex colleague and friend had suffered a cardiac arrest. Thankfully due to some twist of fate he was in the right place at the right time and was very swiftly aided and ultimately it seems he is going to be fine. i guess the shock really is that by todays standards this gentleman in question is not particularly old, having not long since taken retirement and settled down to a long earned life of leisure and although it happens this was really not expected.

The loveliest of men always smiling and jolly and such a kind caring nature that my daughter and i long ago christened him ‘Papa Smurf’

It seems we none of us really face up to the fact that we are after all merely limited beings and that eventually whether sooner or later we shall all in the end shuffle off this mortal coil towards whichever end our beliefs may lead us to. Perhaps the saddest thing of all is that this failure to recognise our mortality means many of us just forget to live while we have the chance to do so. It may be that we are afraid or just that have we have forgotten how.

I, like everyone else, simply do not wish to imagine my life without me in it but reality bites and i have to accept the fact that i shall not always be here and life will continue to go on without me as inevitably it always does. Perhaps we all need to learn to live a little more like each day is our last, actually living the life we have rather than drifting with such total complacency and taking it all for granted.

I know Papa Smurf is so thankful he was saved, indeed he said so to all of us and for our part we know the world is far better a place with him in it. Get well papa smurf xxxxx

W. H. Davies


WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Diary of a sleepless hamster


Pretty much all of us have had it at some time or other right?? Too much candy, childhood slapdash teeth brushing and the cavities appear. Still through my grown up years i’d gotten pretty good at looking after my pearly whites and for the most part came out of the dentists pretty pleased with myself needing little more than the old polish. Until along came the appearance of wisdom teeth and one at the bottom put a dirty great crack in the tooth next to it trying to make room to come through.

Waking some days later in the middle of the night yowling in pain as my whole jaw felt like it was going to explode i staggered out of bed and hurtled in the direction of the medicine box for pain relief. Maybe i have some weird immune system because an hour later these were having no effect despite the fact i never usually take them and i had resorted to holding my pillow to my face rocking backwards and forwards and wailing into it.No, there is no scientific reason why this should work but it helps a little as does sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating ‘it doesnt hurt, it doesn’t hurt’ whilst walking round in circles. Honest!!

I did try sticking my fingers in my ears and humming but it wasnt as effective i kept losing concentration and humming the wrong song!! By 8am and still awake i would’ve been quite happy to do my own dentistry and yank the thing out myself but intead howled down the phone to an appropriately sympathetic secretary.Some time later i dutifully trotted off to the dentist heart going pitter patter all the way despite my best attempts to drown it out with Lifehouse blaring out on my ipod. 

Yes like many i am absolutely petrified of the dentist, i have no idea why but i am!! So sitting outside the dentists office humming to myself, wincing at the distant sound of a drill and calmly repeating in my cant hear no you can’t hear that la la la you cant hear that. Trying desperately to breath through my mouth so as not to breath in the dentists smell and all the while my heart is going pitty patter..thump thump thump…..THUMP!! Now my dentist is lovely, very sympathetic and to her credit did not laugh when i shot out of the chair and hurtled across the room screeching DONT TOUCH IT!!’ after she asked if she could have a look. I guess she is used to the me type of patients because she put down that evil little hook they stab your teeth with and promised to be careful. Ten minutes later with diagnosis of abcess and root canal echoing in my ears i again shot out of the chair very quickly blurting ”prescription please” when offered the choice of drilling and dressing or prescription antibiotics and another appointment. 

So one day later and one very sleepless night filled with more yowling into a pillow and wearing circular patterns in the carpet and i resemble a mad hamster. My tooth feels like it is the size of a small red hot melon into my mouth and i have taken the wise decision to avoid all human contact for everyones safety since i have the tendency to growl in pain like any wounded animal. Were i to hop up and down i am most sure i should rattle like a bag of marbles due to the vast array of various medications languishing in various states of decay within my stomach. 

So as bedtime draws closer i swallow another dose of medication and pray for a better nights sleep and just incase i’m practising a new song and debating adding hamster food to my weekly shop. As the words of a poem from my childhood echo in my ears i cant help but smile as i leave you with Pam….

Pam AyresOh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.I wish I’d been that much more willin’
When I had more tooth there than fillin’
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin’.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
“If you got a tooth, you got a friend”
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin’
And pokin’ and fussin’
Didn’t seem worth the time… I could bite!

If I’d known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin’s
Injections and drillin’s
I’d have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist’s chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
“Two amalgum,” he’ll say, “for in there.”

How I laughed at my Mother’s false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin’
It’s me they are beckonin’
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.


Do you miss me

Do you miss me when i’m gone, do you long to be beside me

Do you call me for no reason than just to hear my voice

Do you miss me when i’m gone? Do you dream that we’re together

And know that here is where you’d be if you only had a choice

Do you miss me when im gone, if you do then do i know this

Have you taken time to tell me or think that i should know

For i find when i’m without you things just really arent the same

So i had to let you know, that i miss you when you’re gone

Written by Smilesalot1969 aka Lilyflower- 2001