Don’t tell the bride

Today Dear Daughter number 1 and went into the next town to do some shopping and to pay another instalment from her wedding dress. She has been super excited about her dress and has described it to me in great detail and was really hoping the shop owner would be obliging and get the dress down to show me for my approval. Of course i wanted to see my daughters dress but i explained to her that this was HER dress and the only one who really needed to like it was she herself but i was happy to coo over it and share her excitement. Although i would never tell my daughter i have a very cynical view of marriage having had a far from pleasant experience of it myself but i do understand that for couples TRULY in love it is a huge happy event. So i swallowed my cynicism and shared in her excitement as we hopped up the stairs to the bridal shop.

Now the girlie side of me could not help but appreciate some of the beautiful dresses and i would not be much of a girlie girl if i did not want to try one on and twirl around in it. However far from like most women for me this interest was purely cosmetic because i adore clothes and it was a pretty dress that i knew would look pretty stunning on me. Yes vanity thy name is panda. 

So approaching the counter Dear Daughter bounces over to the tiny lady excitedly announcing she has come to pay for her dress and could her mom take a look if it wasn’t too much trouble. Now this bit was both funny and awkward as the little woman looks straight past me down the shop which was empty. Dear daughter turns to me and says ”Youre going to LOVE my dress mum” to which a visibly stunned shop keeper stares at me and says to dear daughter ”THIS is your mother?? I thought this was your friend or your sister”

She then peers into my face and croons ”ohhhhh you look so young!!”

Well dear daughter and i laughed as the lady trots off for the dress for we are used to this and tend not to take much notice but as tiny lady returns she again peers at me and exclaims ”oh my, youre so young” Okay now if she had stopped there all would have been fine but tiny lady turns to dear daughter and says happily ”You will have to look amazing on your wedding day or else everyone will be looking at your mom!”

Oh dear. NOT the thing to say to a blushing bride.

Dear daughter and i busied ourselves looking at her dress which is admittedly beautiful and perfect for her and she has chosen well. After tiny lady coos again for the third time that i look young i was getting embarrassed and i think dear daughter was slightly nettled for as we passed a rack of non wedding dresses and i stroked a stunning sea green one she announced that i was not allowed to wear anything that would make me look better than her. 

OUCH.

Like any mom who loves their daughter i reassured her that NOBODY will look better than her on her wedding day and this is the truth for she is a pretty girl with the perfect dress and she will look amazing. Still i couldn’t help but wince as on the bus she turns to me and says ”mum you can come to the wedding in jogging bottoms” Part of me thinks she was half serious and i couldn’t help but feel a little sad. Whilst i am sure the tiny lady meant only to deliver a compliment i cant help but feel she needs to work a little on her people skills and work on making her brides feel special.

Hopefully Dear Daughter is not serious and i shall not have to wear jogging bottoms to her wedding, firstly because i do not own any but secondly because they really would not suit me. Still needs must right??

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Distinct Lack of Manners

Well for those of you who don’t know Dear Daughter number 1 is getting married in march. Yes oh boy do i feel old as this in effect makes me mother of the bride, an image that conjures up middle aged woman in mauve two piece skirt suits and fussy hats. I definitely do not feel old enough to be mother of anything let alone mother of the bride and you most certainly will not see me dressed in such a way at the altar!!

Mostly the wedding is fine, all is plodding along nicely until Dear Daughter begins to enlighten me about her soon to be relations who are apparently of the super religious variety. Now don’t get me wrong i have no objection to this and stoutly believe that each to their own and nobody should be subject to derision or prejudice pertaining to their beliefs. What i do object to however are those who forcefully impose their beliefs on others and potential relative being a rather effusive American preacher seems to have a tendency to do just that. 

Even for this i can make allowances for just one day as long as this does not interfere with the choices of the bride and groom whose wedding it happens to be however, judging from dear daughters accounts, the wife of said minister cares little for this, being a dominant controlling character. I could sense Dear Daughters annoyance as, having pre-warned by soon to be mother in law that this woman will try and control the wedding and have things to HER own liking, she related events to me. So this lady first expresses annoyance that their engagement was announced to friends and distant family via facebook (their choice) and that this lady did not receive a personal written notification. My eyebrows raised at this but i remained silent as the tale continued with this lady insistently pushing towards her husband performing the marriage ceremony. 

Now Dear Daughter and Almost Son in Law are getting married in church and seemed to favour a traditional church service held locally and performed by the local vicar but it seems this lady thinks differently and continues to forcefully push her point, regardless of the wishes of the couple. Now my hackles raised slightly at this for this woman is nothing to do with my daughter, has never met her and ultimately will only be an aunt by marriage at the end of it. I do not like pushy people and nobody is going to decide MY daughters wedding except for her Fiance and herself and already the lines of battle are drawn as i am not a person to rile when it comes to those i love.  

As dear daughter continued to inform me of Almost Mother In Laws warnings that soon to be relation would seek to criticise and reorganise every part of the day i had already decided I shall not take to this woman at all. So it was with no surprise that I logged onto Facebook today and clicked on a photograph my daughter had been tagged in by this woman. Now my daughter was not actually IN this picture and was infact a photograph of the preacher but nonetheless she had been tagged to bring it to her attention with the caption underneath stating

He can still do the wedding you know’

Oh Lady carry on for you and i are set to do battle and believe me you shall not win! Perhaps your lord should have seen fit to teach you some manners and decorum for it really is not the done thing to impose your will upon others. Yes hackles are firmly raised and although i shall be very polite and respectful you can be sure that the lady in question will not be gaining the forceful control she seems to be so desirous of.

Sorry dear this time you have met your match!!